Bucket Lists
Bucket lists are not something that I have been hugely motivated by although thought this topic deserves a closer look. (Maybe it has something to do with my age. lol) In this post, I will dig into what a bucket list is, what kind of things can be included, how they can help us and when we might want to make one.
What is a Bucket List?
The term “bucket list” comes from the old euphemism for death: “to kick the bucket”. Traditionally, a bucket list is a list of new things we want to experience or accomplish before we die. However, as the term has become more widespread, so has the idea behind a bucket list. They are not just for end of life planning and they can be an ever-evolving thing. Sometimes people make bucket lists of things they would like to achieve before reaching a milestone like getting married, starting a family or finishing college.
What Makes the List?
Fantasies, goals, achievements, milestones, daring activities, financial stability and healthy relationships can all contribute to your bucket list. It can contain a broad spectrum of items from improving our current relationships to skydiving. In between, are things like:
Traveling
Starting a charity or raising funds for an existing one
Building a business
Learning to play an instrument
Acting in a play
Making all of the recipes in a favourite cookbook
Finishing a degree
Running a half marathon
Writing a book
Making peace with a shortcoming
Taking a walk in a local park on a nice day when the fall leaves are out
Experiencing the northern lights
Learning to skate
Taking a painting class
Knitting a pair socks
Bucket Lists in the Movies
Hollywood has taken on bucket lists in many movies including:
The Bucket List (2007), starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. This buddy comedy about terminal cancer patients that leave treatment to fulfill their bucket lists together is good for a few laughs. The main characters go skydiving, drive the California Speedway, fly over the North Pole, eat fancy meals, and visit the Taj Mahal, the Great Wall of China, Tanzania, Mount Everest and the Great Pyramid of Giza. Meanwhile, they discover that what matters is their connection to those they love.
Similarly, The Last Holiday (2006), starring Queen Latifah, allows viewers to watch as she’s told she has three weeks to live. She quits her job, takes out all of her savings and goes on a luxury holiday in Europe. She tips big, shops extravagantly, dines out, has spa treatments, goes snowboarding and parachutes off of the Contra Dam in Switzerland. In one scene, the character looks at herself in the mirror and says, “Next time we’re gonna laugh more, we’re gonna love more and we just won’t be so afraid.” She realizes that what mattered was in front of her all along.
These light-hearted looks at bucket lists are entertaining but aren’t exactly realistic. Grand and exciting bucket list items are likely unachievable for those of us without large savings accounts and perhaps health limitations. It seems to me they also miss the mark.
Bucket Lists in Real Life
Bucket lists can act as tools for moving on to a new chapter in life or making peace with death. Written to reflect your values and provide you with optimism, your bucket list can help you find enjoyment in life and accomplish goals on a timeline.
As this research from Stanford Medicine shows, when written as part of end of life planning, bucket lists can help you, your loved ones and your health-care team make decisions about your treatment options. For example, if your bucket list includes walking your daughter down the aisle at her wedding in six months, you may opt for a treatment plan that will extend your life but may leave you feeling a bit sicker. If travelling somewhere exotic is on your list, a treatment plan that makes you comfortable but may not extend your life might be the way to go. Either way, your bucket list can paint a picture of what matters most to you and of how you want to spend your remaining time.
If you think a bucket list might be helpful for you, the right time to start one is now. This Bucket List Toolkit, also from Stanford Medicine, can be a great place to begin. They suggest the following tips:
Reflect on your core values and what matters most to you
List some things you want to experience or tasks you would like to complete
Set timelines for completion (can be short or long term goals)
Brainstorm lots of ideas and then edit it down
Limit yourself to four to five items and make at least a couple of them easy to achieve
Share with your loved ones and talk to your doctor if you need medical advice
Check off list items as you achieve them and savour the achievement
Review your list regularly
Closing Thoughts
Remember that your bucket list does not have to be set in stone. It is a living document that reflects what is important to you now. It is fine for your priorities to change and for your list to change with them. Your bucket list should be a source of inspiration and not guilt. Go easy on yourself.
As for me, I think I will stick to trying to make each day count. I will keep doing the work that is important to me, fostering relationships with my loved ones, and building connections in the community. I think I am fine without a bucket list but can certainly appreciate their value. What do you think? Is a bucket list a useful tool in life? At the end of a life? What is something you would put on yours?