What have I forgotten?
Helpful Reminders for Advanced Care Planning
Don’t you hate the feeling that you are forgetting something? It happens to many of us regularly. We rush into a room to grab something on our way out and forget what we came in for, only to remember again after we’ve pulled out of the driveway. We all want to be as organized as possible and none of us want to create stress for those we care about. Unfortunately, once we die, there are no do-overs. We can’t just circle around the block, stop by home and grab what we forgot. We won’t be able to drop back in to share the wishes that we forgot to include in our advanced care plans with our loved ones.
April is Advanced Care Planning month – a great time to talk about documenting final wishes. Advanced care planning is a big topic and I won’t be covering all that it encompasses in this post. What I really want to highlight are the parts that seem to get missed: parts related to final death care arrangements.
Most people have thought about what happens to their home, belongings, savings, pensions, etc… They have likely written a will and have identified an executor. Most will have considered personal and medical directives. However, people sometimes forget to share their wishes around the final care and disposition of their body.
With our bodies providing our last physical link to our loved ones, these decisions can feel like some of the most weighty decisions they have to make, and often cause significant worry for those left behind. They have to imagine what the deceased would have wanted but often feel unsure that they are making the right decision. Add to this the way grief immobilizes, overwhelms, and makes decision-making feel impossible, and we have left behind a recipe for stress. We can help our loved ones avoid this distress by being thoughtfully prepared.
Consider documenting your preferences. Write down your wishes and keep them with your other important paperwork. Also, make sure to discuss your choices with your loved ones. While the subject is difficult to bring up, these discussions are key. Loved ones may react to what you’ve decided in unexpected ways. While they’ll want to honour your wishes, some things may be important to them that you didn’t consider. You may want to modify your plan as a result. It will be too late once you are gone.
Some things to consider around final care and disposition:
Organ and tissue donation
Preparation of physical body
After-death care location
Viewing or visitation
Final disposition
Burial
Cremation - including where to put the ashes
Donation for Anatomical Research
The above is just one part of what needs to be considered for an Advanced Care Plan, but don’t let the process overwhelm you. I will be offering workshops to help simplify the advanced care planning process. My workshop makes it easy to document your wishes and to bring peace of mind. We work through the steps together and the information is shared in an easy to understand way and is not overwhelming. Just by following the steps, you can be sure you didn’t forget anything.
Follow me on social media or sign up for my mailing list at the bottom of this page; I’ll be sure to let you know when workshops are coming up. Please feel free to contact me as well. I am happy to connect, and to help answer your questions.